Thursday, 29 November 2018

When Love is a Feeling...

It's quite amazing for most people, especially young ones to come up with their definition of love being subjected to their emotional condition. Ask a whole lot of people about what love is and you'd be surprised when a larger percentage of them confidently but naively tell you that love is a feeling. 
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Is love truly a feeling? 
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Feeling grows as long as it is fanned to flame. If all your understanding of feeling is the juicy talks, hugging, indecent touches, holding of hands, kissing and those intimate expression, you'll grow out of it one day. 
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When love is a feeling, it'll be easy for you to fall into lust. Have you seen two people who claim to be in love but find it impossible not to touch themselves lustfully? 
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Shared attention, affection or attraction is good but shouldn't be the basis to love. 
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There's a part of love that requires feeling but don't base your decision to love on feelings because feeling is temporal, it can and will change in the long run.
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When love is a feeling, it prevents you from using your senses, all your decisions would be based on how he made you feel or how she feels about him. 
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Passionate love is good but you need more of commitment to determine if what you're experiencing is more than feelings. 
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Don't you think if love was a feeling, God wouldn't still be in love with us at those times we rose and fell in sin? Yet, He loved you and was patient till you made the decision to give your life back to Him. What an everlasting love! 
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My dear, love is more than those "geez geez" feelings, it is even more than the sleepless nights you had at the thought of the bae or boo that swept you off your feet in euphoric love. All these are just biological reactions in your hormones. 
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If you have the opportunity to see the turn-offs in your much admired "lover", would your feeling still be relevant? When you discover that she snores or he leaves the room unkempt in spite of correction, would your feelings still retain your supposed love? 
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This is the time for you to understand that love as a feeling is different from love as a decision. One is needed to sustain a love relationship while the other is needed to decide who to marry, rather than back out in marriage. One shouldn't be the basis to love while the other must be the reason to love. 
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When love is a feeling, you have a condition that keeps you in the relationship once emotional intimacy is sustained. 
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When love is a feeling, it becomes much easier to stay when the going is good but when reality unfolds, you need commitment to stay on track. 
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The product of feelings are the likes of infatuation or lust. You can grow out of your feelings to love but you can't get out of your decision and commitment to love, except if they do not exist in the first place. 
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Why are in you in love with that man or woman? Is it because they made you feel good, kept your company or you've made the resolve to love them in truth and in deed? 
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Before you go into a love relationship, sit back and understand that love is more than a feeling; it has more to do with decision, commitment and sacrifice. 
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Feelings cannot endure pain or tolerate weaknesses for too long. Feelings cannot stand the test of time. It's possible for feelings to cease but many waters cannot quench love. 
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Do not depend on feelings to be in love, carefully and prayerfully make the decision to be in love and stay committed to your partner's well-being, come rain or shine as you sacrificially invest in the relationship. 
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Love is more than how you feel, it is about your ability to express unconditional, selfless and sacrificial love. 


© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi.

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