Thursday, 24 January 2019

How to Prepare for Marriage.

Marriage is different from wedding. Many prepare for wedding more than they do for marriage only to go into it and make a mess of the institution. 
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You don't prepare for marriage during courtship, you prepare for marriage long before you find the right partner. Courtship is just a little period where you bond with your intending spouse. 
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I will liken marriage to a soup. The ingredients you add to it determines the taste you derive from it and when others come into your home, your "soup" will tell them what marriage is; whether it's sweet or bitter, to be enjoyed or endured, to be imitated or as a negative lesson to learn from. 
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Let me adopt cooking style to teach you how you can prepare a successful marriage for yourself. I'm not a good cook o but I'm not worse off. 
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MARRIAGE INGREDIENTS: Be the right partner, Marry the right person, Apply the right principle, Don't leave God.
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HOW TO PREPARE:
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STEP 1: Take time to become the right person. This could take several years before it happens. God needs to work on your weaknesses and shortcomings so that you can become the right person. Becoming the right person is not about how you look, but your inner make up and qualities. 
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To become the right person, you must be saved, born again, have an intimate relationship with God and discover your God-given purpose. I can tell you what you want to hear about becoming the right person such as maturity in all departments of your life but the basics are what I listed. 
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If you're not saved, born again, related to God and know His purpose for your life, it'll be impossible for you to marry the right person, involve God or apply the right principle. You can be mentally, financially or emotionally mature but it doesn't mean you'd be able to know the right person. 
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You need God to work on you in and out to be the right person. Above all, A right heart is needed to be the right partner. Is your heart right? 
.STEP 2: Marry the right person. Fifty percent of your marital success depends so much on who you marry. If the right person marries the wrong person, the marriage will fail and if two wrong persons marry, their marriage will crash. 
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You can't know the right person by mere observation or understudy them, you need SPIRITUAL DISCERNMENT or DIVINE REVELATION to achieve this. Samuel almost made the mistake of anointing Eliab as a king but thank God he was guided. Many articles on how to find the right person won't tell you this.
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Hence, this step can only be possible when you have a personal relationship with God and you are born again. To be born again isn't just by going to church or a mere religious phrase, it's having your life influenced by the Spirit and Word of God. 
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Are you born again or you're born against? 
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STEP THREE: Principles matters a lot in life. Success is attained by obeying the right principles. The difference between success and failure is principle. When you apply the right principle in life, you'll succeed but if you don't, you'll fail. 
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The right principle for marital success is found in the Bible. Scientists, psychologist or philosophers didn't create the institution of marriage, God did. You need to apply His principles to get it right. 
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If you're the right person and you marry the right person but you apply the wrong principle, your marriage will fail woefully. Get connected to His word because you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free. The truth is not in the world but in His word. 
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Allow the Holy Spirit guide you into all truths when you study or meditate in it. Don't read the Bible as a letter but allow the Holy Spirit breathe upon what you read so that you can get life out of it. 
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Your can't apply cultural, carnal or worldly principle to your marriage and expect it to be successful, apply God's principle! 
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STEP FOUR: If God made marriage, it would be an unwise thing to leave Him out of your marriage. A threefold cord cannot be easily broken. If a man and his wife are jointly connected to God, who has the power on earth to put them in asunder? 
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But it's sad that many people involve their pastors, parents, friends, disciples, siblings or worldly philosophy to influence their relationship wrongly. You must leave them to cleave to your spouse but you must not leave God. 
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Involve God in your marriage, not men. If anyone has anything to say or contribute, check it in the light of His word and if the scripture didn't say anything about it, pray to God for understanding. 
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Can you see how irrelevant it would be if I only tell you secondary things on how to prepare for marriage? 
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Start preparing yourself for marriage even if you're in school. I do not mean start looking for who to marry. Be the right person. Have the right heart. Be born again of the water and Spirit. Discover God's purpose for your life because it'll help you to know who is right or wrong without praying. Tell God to destroy every anti-marriage habit in you. 
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When it's time to marry, find the right person prayerfully, carefully and patiently. Don't lean on your own understanding even if you are a marriage counselor. Trust in the Lord for direction and obey His word. Apply the right principle from His word and beware of third party influence that will ruin your relationship. Let God be the first and the last person in your marriage, not your mummy or daddy in the Lord, mentor or spiritual father. They're good but not the best! 
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I hope you have learn one or two things? Please share with your friends. May you enjoy your marriage and not endure it. May your marriage be sweet and not salty, pepperish or sour. 
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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi.

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