Monday, 14 January 2019


Each time I see singles trying desperately to teach the married people how to have a good marriage, I smile, I really really smile.
It's like me trying to teach Dangote how to make billions in this present Nigerian economy. Where are my own billions? Which business have I done to command such amount of money? What are my business strategies? How long have I been in business? Etc, oh boy, no one wants to waste their time on a joker, not Dangote, ever!
Back to base, no great marriage drops from heaven! We all must work at it. A lot of singles are failing woefully in their marriages because they so not prepare for this reality. They think all will be dinner and dating like some fantasies they read in some romantic novels, alright, let's get straight to the points.
Everyone disagrees at one point or the other, unless you are pretending. Few months after getting married, if not starting from honey moon, your different beliefs, background, training, exposure, etc will clash. Learn to handle disagreement maturely. Learn to talk like an adult. Insisting on your own point, idea, advise or way of doing things is immature. Both of you must learn to compromise and meet at the middle. Let wisdom reign. That is why marriage is for mature people not toddlers who cry and whine when things do not go their way. If you love palm oil for cooking soup and he prefers coconut oil, add half palm oil and half coconut oil. That settles it. Case closed.
Life is not on a straight line. There are bumps along the way. The man may lose his job or what you earn may not be enough. Business may not go as usual or needs increase that over shadow what you earn and you need to earn more. There is no need to fight and abuse each other. Strategize. Either look for a better paying job or add business to what you are doing. As the wife, grow your income, look for more customers or you are a salary earner, think of business you can do from home that can grow your income. Brainstorm, read, attend seminars, have a mentor, think of creative ways of growing your business or strategize. Both of you will seriously need to sit down and think of ways of growing your income. Cut down your expenses, manage the little you have till you bounce back and expand!
Pregnancy, childbirth, family planning pills/injection, raising family, taking care of children, stress and fatigue may affect your sex life. To avoid your sex life going into the cooler, be prepared plan your family well. How many kids will you have? Discuss how to assist each other with chores and how to take care of your kids, so stress will not burn the woman out. When a woman is stressed out, her sexual life dies an untimely death! You can do something to prevent it.
Dating and courtship are not the same as marriage. In courtship, it's come and go. You don't see them every time. You have high, romantic expectations for marriage. Your sexual desire is high because you do not have to worry about bills, diapers, cooking and house chores. One year after marriage, you are bored. You've seen it all. Their nakedness, weaknesses, same face, same bed, morning and night and you got tired! But it shouldn't be!
You must prepare against boredom by creating exciting moments that will last throughout your marriage and life time.
What you don't prepare for, you can't succeed in it. When you don't plan to succeed in marriage, you have planned to fail in it.
Many are running out of their marriages today because they did not prepare well to handle the challenges that face everyone in marriage.
No matter your anointing and how perfect from heaven you are both made for each other, you will go through these challenges.
How well you prepare before you enter will determine if you will last or quit, enjoy or endure your marriage.
Regardless of your age, prepare well. Don't jump into any marriage prematurely. It is better to be single and waiting than married and wailing. You will not wail in your marriage in Jesus' name.
Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele.

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