Monday, 28 January 2019

This Thing Called Feelings.

Feelings has done more harm than good to many people in their life and relationships. Some have made major life decisions on it and are regretting it bitterly while some have been blinded by it and still couldn't see clearly till date. 
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God gave me insights about what feelings is up to and have gathered it as a random thought. Please don't just rush to read. Read, ponder and reflect on it over your life and make amends where necessary. 
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1. No matter how spiritual or carnal you are, feeling is that part of every human that doesn't respect anointing nor does it get born again. You can only control it when you're led by the Spirit rather than allow flesh to lead you. 
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2. It's easy for feelings to erupt between two persons who communicate frequently and get along easily but if care isn't taken, I mean boundaries set and respected, they'll cross over the boundary. There's a thin line between lust and feelings. 
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3. A married person can have feelings for a single person if they bond so well. But wisdom demands that the married respect his or her marital vows and the single respect his or her integrity and dignity. 
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4. You need feelings to love but love isn't all about feelings. Feelings is that part of love that retains bonding or intimacy and it's formed based on attraction, communication and likeness. If all these doesn't exist, feelings won't surface. 
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5. If you're a young man and you are in a relationship, I mean friendship with a much younger lady, respect your boundaries. Don't allow feelings to downplay your worth before her and vice versa. 
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6. For those who are still trusting God for who to marry and you're in a friendship relationship with the opposite sex, before you assume or jump into conclusion as though God is speaking, check if it's not feelings that's saying something. Feelings too has a voice, it takes discernment to know who's speaking - flesh or the Spirit. 
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7. When friendship with the opposite sex is not built on godly purpose but pleasure, feelings and lust will completely take over. Don't let your relationship be built solely on "I like you", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "I'm missing you", "You look sweet" ati bebe lo. Don't you have something else to say? 
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8. When it comes to your relationship with God, don't build your relationship with Him on feelings. Time will come when you don't feel like praying, studying the Bible or doing spiritual activities but when your relationship is built on decision, you will decide to engage in what will draw you closer even if the feeling is not there. 
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9. Don't build your love for your spouse on feelings. Feelings will come and go but it's your choice and decision to remain in love that will keep you standing. Let your love be built on conviction and an assurance that you're with the right partner (soul mate). This will keep you standing when there are reasons not to fall in love. 
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10. Feelings can die o, if what got you attracted to him or her is physical or material things. Be attracted by purpose, not by pleasure or carnal things. 
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11. If you want to know whether it's God or not that's speaking, give the relationship time (space) to be away. If it's God, you will see reasons why you need to be together but if it's just feelings, it'll die a natural death and you can see clearly why you shouldn't be together. 
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12. As invisible and powerless it may seem, feelings can cloud your sense of judgement. And like Samson, you'll say, "Marry her for me for she pleases me". It's feelings that blinds a person's eye from reality when there's a looming danger ahead. Love is not blind but feelings!
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13. The truest sign of maturity in a relationship is when you can control your feelings rather than allow it to control you. Some call it discipline, self-control but I call it, "subdugation". Don't check the dictionary o, you may not see it there. 
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14. The only way to overcome feelings especially when it's negative such as the feelings to touch indecently, talk erotically or eat the forbidden "ample" is through the Spirit of God in you. You won't be able to run when "konji" is at work. Fleeing the appearance of evil will be impossible when you're intensely arrested by feelings but when the Spirit of God is at work, He will give you the enabling and restraining grace to deny all forms of ungodliness. 
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15. While making the decision on whom to marry, don't use your heart but your head. The heart feels but the head thinks. The heart gets emotional but the head uses discretion (common sense). The head faces reality but the heart is carried away by fantasies.
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Do you have control over your feelings or it controls you? Do you see clearly or you're blinded by it? Take time to reflect over these and make amends. 
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This thing called feelings na wa o, don't let it destroy you! 

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© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi.

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