Monday, 1 April 2019


Feeling is part of love, I won't encourage you to marry someone you have no single feelings for. I thought about Adewunmi all day, all night till I ask God, "I'm tired of thinking about this gentle lamb all morning, all night without knowing exactly where the relationship is heading. Is he the one?"
I was in love with this guy and had that soft, warm, pure, electric, sweet sensation (not lustful) feelings for him. I prayed about it, God said, "Baby, that's your husband". The day he came to propose, I saw angels and stars, I went to heaven, came back and said a big, fat, " Yes!"
I still have that soft, warm, tender feelings for him but not all the time like we were courting. You know why? I now see his weaknesses full scale! I sleep with him and see him daily! I get under pressure at times and my temper would flare! He would do things that get me angry and all tender, loving FEELINGS would fly right out of the window! If my marriage is based on feelings, then the marriage would have been over because feelings are over!
Everyone has weaknesses and weaknesses are not pleasant dear. They can be so annoying, irritating and drives one crazy! We all face pressure! Financial, emotional, spiritual, societal, etc pressure can make you or your spouse act nasty. This is where you need strength, additional energy to love your spouse when you don't in the world feel anything!
The quickest and best way to draw strength is the word of God. I like consuming 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 when I am misbehaving and need to get in order! When I feel disrespectful, I sit down with 2nd Peter 3, read and digest till I am strengthened to respect and honour my dear husband again.
Hubby has always been the cool, loving, sweet guy. I am the ball of fire, charismatic, hot, on-the-go, no nonsense one here! So I think I need God more, study the word more and show commitment more. My husband is a committed, super loving husband, any day, any time! I owe the secret of my happy marriage to God and to him!
So darling, feelings can be so sweet. I still have that sweet feeling for Dewunmi. That romantic feelings is so cool. I like making love to my husband, I don't ever get tired of doing that in almost a decade marriage. I still love the way he walks. I like his height. I like his skin colour and texture. I like his flat tummy. I like every part of him. I still feel the "waves" when he hugs me. These feelings will never go, they are put there by God and will be there forever.
But we are human. We face pressure. We have weaknesses we work on daily. We face challenges. We go through life's battles. During this period, feelings will go, the word of God in you is what will keep you acting right, honoring your spouse, loving them and being nice and romantic till you get your feelings back.
The ability to act right to your spouse when you don't feel like is called commitment in marriage and that is where maturity comes in. When you are mature and ripe for marriage, you will act eight to your spouse regardless of the feelings.
Marriage is so sweet when you marry right. It is bliss, super rosy, heaven on earth! May you not miss your soul mate! Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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