Tuesday, 9 April 2019


Ladies like father figures, it is an inborn thing so when they meet a nice, caring man who acts like a dad, they easily fall head over heels in "love" with him, day dreaming and wishing he is the one, especially when he is so single or wishing they had married him if he is married.
Honestly, this is where men of God seriously need prayers! Not every lady admiring her Pastor, mentor, counsellor is sent from hell to destroy him. Some simply got infatuated, allow emotions to cloud their reasoning and give the Pastor the chase to the point of seducing him and ending up sleeping with him. Pastoring a church ain't easy especially when you are handsome, sexy, charismatic, romantic, deeply spiritual, loving, caring to a fault and very compassionate. Ladies trip over themselves to get his attention and some will even count themselves so "lucky" to have sex with him!
Why do you fall in love with your mentor? Communication! Communication bonds people's heart together than you think! The more you talk affectionately, the more you pant, yearn for them, desire them, want them, wish to marry them or simply have sex with them.
Sorry darling, that guy may never be yours. That he counsels you, pray for you and show you love and care doesn't mean he will walk down the aisle with you so wake up fast before you develop hypertension the day he gives you an invitation card to his wedding!
Guard your heart with all diligence is what the Holy Book says! If you want to stay chaste till your wedding night and marry your own husband, limit how you expose your heart to the opposite sex. 
Some ladies don't seek fellow women to counsel on sexual issues, it is men they will share their sexual escapades with to the point of sexual arousal. Listen, baby, if you want to talk about anything sexual, talk to mature, fellow women. Don't turn that man on with explicit, graphic details of your past sexual relationships.
Don't initiate or accept affectionate words like "dear", "my queen", "sweetheart", "love" etc, these word will unlock your emotions and make you long for them.

If you must seek their counsel, stick to the purpose during discussion and do not digress.
Stop saying "I love you" to them, what for?
Stop hugging them intimately.

Stop imagining he is your husband. Ask God to reveal your own husband to you and if he is the one, congratulations!
If he is married, you should be close to his wife as well. You can't be close to the husband and ignore the wife, that's an insult to the wife!
Be careful the way you give gifts, gifts can blind judgement. Gifts unlock unwanted affection.
Be careful the way you collect gifts. It can weaken your resistance to unwanted advances.
Develop a healthy self esteem. Low self esteem will make you feel inferior and unable to question them or raise objection whenever they ask you to do things that are unethical, immoral or amoral.
Mentors are human beings and are not infallible. Always remember that, he is a man first, then of God second. That is what makes him a man of God. Do not tempt him to sin against his God. May the Lord grant you understanding. God bless you, cheers!

© Seun Oladele.

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