Wednesday, 3 April 2019


Marriage is for mature men and women not for boys and girls and the man has to be doubly mature if he wants his wife to respect him.
Women need mature men to be fulfilled in marriage. If you are irresponsible, lazy, laid back, thoughtless, reckless and outright foolish, you won't have a good marriage!
Prepare for her! Ask lots of questions about her so you can know where you fit in. If she comes from a comfortable background, you will do well to tighten your belt financially so that she does not feel short changed. She is used to comfort. Marrying you won't change that. Quoting irrelevant scriptures and asking her to come and suffer under your roof with no assurance of a bright future as a result of being visionless, dreamless or goalless won't make her respect you. Lots of men are making submission difficult for their wives these days!
Know about her past. If she had been dated and dumped, she will be hurting bad. You should be mature enough to accept her past and help her heal. If you can't do that just release her in peace and let her go!
If she had had pre-marital sex, she could have low self esteem. You need to prepare to affirm and re-assure her over and over again that you value her and her worth to you is more than virginity. Look for her positive traits and appreciate them till she comes to terms with her real self and develop a healthy self esteem.
If she is an only child, chances are that she had been pampered as a child and could be selfish. Prepare to be extra ordinarily selfless and show her through your example (not unwanted sermon) that serving others is the best road to greatness.
If she married as a virgin. Be extra-ordinarily patient to teach her sex. She has no history, no one to learn from, no one to practice with except you. Do not abuse, compare her with all your ex and expect her to be a glorified husband seductress in two weeks, not even in months! Sexual compatibility in marriage takes months and years to achieve!
If she came from an abusive background, she will be abusive! She would be hot tempered, malicious, passive aggressive or active aggressive! Hurting people can make you go from rage to mad within seconds. If you are not in full grip of your emotions, you may commit murder and spend the rest of your life in jail!
Marriage is hard work. A successful marriage is harder work. No one just wake up and have a great marriage, you've got to work at it. A great husband is the man who accepts responsibility and make sacrifices for his wife, loving her as christ loves the church.
To have a peaceful marriage with your wife, dwell with her according to knowledge. That is what the Bible says. Knowledge about what? Her background and what makes her a woman.
May you not fail in the race of marriage. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele.

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