Friday, 10 May 2019


Men don't cry, they get angry instead. The society has taught men that it is unmanly to weep. Boys are ordered to keep quiet at their tender age and bottle their frustrations. Its okay for girls to cry but men, nay! Yet, there is healing power in crying but which man wants to appear like a weakling in public? Only Jesus could do that. "Jesus wept!"
Yet, your man goes through a lot, yes a lot! The society makes men look like statues who must not express any form of emotion except when they want sex yet emotion must be properly expressed if not, it results to anger that is why some men get angry all the time.
Your man gets angry a lot because that is the only way he could express his frustrations which you are refusing to come to terms with or understand.
He goes through pains. He goes through rejection. He has fear. Plenty fears: fear of rejection, fear of losing his job, fear of losing you, fear of losing his authority as the head, fear of not being able to provide for you, etc.
When he goes through financial difficulty and you are expecting him to be tender, he may be angry instead, not at you but at his inability to provide.
Lots of crises happen in so many homes because some women do not understand their husband's anger. Most times, you are not the one he is angry at really, it is the situation, the problem he seems very powerless to solve! If you do not have a large heart, you may take his anger personal, like some women do; abuse, fight, criticize, judge and the man may react by transferring his anger to you.
When your man is angry, relax. Show compassion, talk softly, try to find out what is really bothering him before taking unnecessary actions that may ruin your home.
Have you wondered why some women get pregnant every year and give birth to lots of children despite living in abject poverty? Lack of money equals impotence to a man. It is like castrating him, he seeks more assurance and self worth from his wife through love making, it also helped him ease off lots of tension and frustration. Although, you will do well to plan your family. Having more than enough children you can comfortably take care of will further compound your problem!
Your husband may want more sex in challenging times. Making love to you reassures him that he is still needed, wanted, valued, respected and honored. Rejecting him is killing his self esteem, it is painful to a man. It is the reason lots of men get angry at their wives for consistently refusing them sex.
Men needs lots of love, affection, tenderness, understanding, prayers, mercy and compassion too.
Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Leadership calls for lots of responsibilities and the responsibility can weigh a man down if he couldn't meet them. He may react by getting angry, not at you but at the situation.
Don't take his anger personal. Show him understanding, love and compassion instead. Married women should give their men lots of sex, reassurance and admiration during this period. He needs you to make love to him and reassure him of his manhood.
Men will do well not to transfer their anger/aggression on their women. It is uncalled for.
Learn to deal with situations maturely. Do not transfer work/business issues to your marriage or relationships, you will mess things up. Deal with each issue separately.
May the Lord give you the wisdom you need to make your marriage work.
Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele

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