Friday, 19 October 2018

YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE.

"Oh baby, I love you..." I'd ooze with emotion to my lover who would look at me with tenderness then wanders why in the name of God I didn't help when he needed it and I claim to love him with my very breathe...
His love language isn't words of affirmation. Yup! Every man likes to be praised but If I love him as I claim, I should bend down and assist him whenever he needs my support. Act of service and quality time are hubby's love languages.
Well, that's not my love language. Whenever hubby says "you are great", "you are sexy", "you've got a beautiful body", "you are a virtuous woman", "you are so smart and intelligent", I always travel to the orbit and stay in bliss for many hours. Act of service? No!
Before we fully understood each other's love language, hubby was doing what most husbands in the world would not do to their wives yet I would not appreciate it. Why? it's just not my love language! I rarely ask for help (just learning to delegate), I like doing my things myself in fact, if you volunteer, you are disturbing me. Hubby volunteered a lot and I felt really angry. He was seriously disturbing my work by helping out and I grew very bitter. Alright, all that is past tense now.
For your spouse to feel loved, you must speak their love language! What moves you may not move them. Find out what makes them happy and do it. That is how to show love.
Some like QUALITY TIME. If you truly love them, spend time with them. Some prefer GIFTS, if you care about them, you show it by buying them gifts. Some prefer TOUCH, you should hug, hold and cuddle them if you truly care. Some prefer ACT OF SERVICE, assist them whenever they need help then you are speaking their love language. For some it is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, you should admire, praise and compliment them a lot if you truly love them.
Your love language can be more than one. You can have one primary and the other secondary. Primarily, my love language is words of affirmation and secondarily, it is touch.
After few years of trial and error, we have both learnt to speak our languages excellently well. Hubby now affirms me a lot, which honestly makes me feel so good and fall in love with him over and over again. I've learnt to assist him without waiting for him to ask and also spend quality time with him. That includes, shutting down the phone and look into his eyeballs while talking to me!
If your spouse/partner is not appreciating everything you do for them, perhaps you are not speaking their love language. You don't treat people the way you want to be treated, you treat them the way they love to be treated.
What they complain most about you is a clue to their love language. Find out and speak it on daily basis.
Marriage can honestly be sweet if you are equipped with the right tools and knowledge that makes it work.
Read Gary Chapman's book on THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES for more understanding. It will help a lot. God bless you. Cheers!


©Seun Oladele, 2017.

Thursday, 18 October 2018

WHEN BOYS AND GIRLS GET MARRIED.

You know what happens when boys and girls get married? The boy can't handle responsibilities and the girl can't run the home.
The boy may be 35 and the girl may be 30. It doesn't matter, age is not what determines maturity.
The boy is super lazy, has no job and prefers to snore in front of the TV set 24/7. The girl doesn't know how to cook, hates house chores and prefers to gossip with neighbours all day.
The boy can't think without seeing papa first and the girl cries over very minor argument in the home.
The boy doesn't know how to pay bills and the girl knows nothing about raising a child. She prefers to wear a tiny singlet for her 3 months baby on a bone chilling harmattan morning!
The boy beats his wife over a  minor offence and the girl always run back to her momma each time there is a misunderstanding between her and her husband. They had to call a family meeting with the village head in attendance!
Marriage is not for boys and girls, you've heard that a million times. What makes you mature is not your age but acceptance of responsibility. If you can't make anything sane out of your life as a single person, you won't amount to anything after getting married.
Grow up before chasing ladies all over the street. Learn to be a man. Pay your bills, be committed to your job, learn how to treat women with dignity.
If you always run away from chores a single lady, you are not ready for marriage. How on earth can you be a typical Igbo woman and not know how to prepare igbo soup? or you are a Yoruba woman and you don't know to cook "Efo Riro"? And you don't even want to learn from anybody. You hate washing plates, sweeping the floor and keeping your house clean and you wanna get married, to whom? A chimpanzee?
I see too many boys and girls heading for the altar and I pity their future. Marriage is not a game. It is not a joke. It is not for boys and girls. Grow up first and make something sensible out of your life before rushing to the altar. You will be glad you did. 
Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele.

Wednesday, 17 October 2018

IT'S IN YOUR DRESS!

You can't say your heart is pure and you are wearing micro miniskirts, body hug, low neckline and those trousers some guys wear that grab their scrotum and make it looks like someone stole tennis ball and hid it there.
You can't say you are holy lady and you are wearing very tight trousers with a small top and that trouser mercilessly shows your "V" sign at the front. What do you think you are wearing?
Holiness is in total package! Your thought, your dress, your speech! You are holy and I'm seeing half of your 48 size breasts as a man, do you want to kill me? Ehn???
Brother, you are holy and your hairy chest is left unbottoned and you say you are on fire for God! Nay, you are on fire with lust!
Watch what you wear, puuuleeeaze!!! Don't send God's sons and daughters to hell with your cleavages!
Bros, learn to wear pants or boxers! Enough of that thing dangling up and down while leading prayers in church. We don't want to know the size!
I hope I make sense to somebody.
Thanks for reading. 

God bless you. 

Cheers!
© Seun Oladele

Tuesday, 16 October 2018

Cassandra Kedibone: "Music is my life!"



Cassandra Kedibone met with fame at a tender age under the tutelage of Hillbrow Outreach Theatre Programme. The graduate of NOSA decided to follow her heart to go back into music after taking a long break to bag a certificate in Occupational Health and Safety.

Though, the decision wasn’t an easy one but she is finally happy to be doing what she loves to do.

Below is our discussion:

Taiwo: Welcome, Cassy, to Braamfontein Alive. Is good to have you here. 

Cassy: I would like to say, than you for having me here.

Q: Can you please tell us about yourself?

A: What exactly do you wanna about me because there are so many things; so specify what do wanna know?

Q: Your background?

A: My background, as in, my paternal background to who am I? 

Q: Something like that!

A: Okay, well! I’m Cassandra; born and raise in Joburg. I’m from Limpopo in Mokopane. I’m a daughter to my late mum and dad. I’m actually the second but last born (The special one). 

Q: Can you tell us about your journey into music?

A: My music? Well, I first made headlines; that was in 2006-2007 under Hillbrow Outreach Theatre Programme. It went out to Soweto Times, you know your newspapers; everything. I made front pages then, I was still young by the way. I was about eleven (11) years old. I was with HOTP, and I went from there to JR Best Dancers; which is by the way; STONE, within those years and then I changed  to VUGANI and that was my last journey.

Everything that I did at that time was more of theatre so I decided to out with a friend; Bazry Kay (not a friend anymore) to the studio one day who told me “you’ve been hiding behind the scene for too long and I’d like to do a song with you!” And then I said “no problem”. We did it and it was perfect. Our producer then, was the one who actually wanted to work with me; he actually made riot and then  I felt like “I don’t wanna loose my friendship over this because she was the one who took me to the studio!” But after some few months I actually noticed that I can do this. Is my calling anyway. I’ve done since I was young so why stop now?

Is been a difficult journey for me because my relationship actually involved so much into it. Everybody knows I have to do it! My partner knew I had to do it.


You know dating or being married a typical culture guy is very difficult because you have to abide by the rules. You know, it doesn’t matter the situation, circumstances or whatever; you have to abide by the rules. So I had to quit but few months after quitting as well I decided “this is my life; this is really what I want to do!”

It was after I came back from boarding school, because all my life I spent it there and when I came back; I was still with the same man I’m talking about here and then it was hard to bring him in; this is my calling, music is my calling. So I then decided to go back to school to carry on with my studies but music was all over my mind. I went to NOMSA, five stars international school of mining; that’s where I did my Occupational Health and Safety in mining. I knew after study I’d be big but it wasn’t my first priority then because what was always in my mind was to achieve my music career so I have to anyway make him to understand that this is what I wanna do. You know it caused riot here and there but I pulled it through and I did my first song “love, left and un-shown". I was actually left because of pursuing that dream of music and leaving the mining industry.

Then I carried on, It was hard, I have to disappear, up and down. So many people came approaching me but I couldn't because I still had respect for my previous men, husband so I had to choose what I want.

Q: When did that moment come for you when you had to make the choice?

A: That was in 2017, around April and then I decided if this what I want to do everybody has got to support me. And that's when I made the second song "Bamba-Bamba". I've been trying to promote, people have been trying to come along to help me but then I actually never found the right people to push me as I've being pushed by Khalinations Productions.

Q: What kind of music do you do?

A: Well, I call it Soulful/Jazz House. People say is like Afro-pop House. According to my understanding I gave my music a name "Soul/Jazz House Music".

Q: So far so good; are people loving it?

A: People love it, people love me! I don't wanna lie. I don't have any doubts, any low self-esteem about it because I know I can make it with the right people and support around me and we're going places.

Q: Is there any association or is there anything going on between you and Khalinations Productions?

A: How do you mean? Can you just please specify or simplify?

Q: The words on the streets says that you are now with Khalinations Productions; is that true?

A: Yes.

Q: So what do you think about the record label?

A: Well, is a new record label. Personally, knowing how big I can go I'd have never took it as a choice of actually signing under them because I expected bigger; not now and actually also believe I wanted to this on my own without any record label because there are so many rules and what-what-what around having a record deal or anything but when it came up and because this is what I believe I can do and me being me why not; let's take Khalinations Productions further!

Q: What and what would you like to change in the South African music industry to make it go bigger?

A: There are so many ladies, so many guys, so many people but most specifically women, ladies, who are drunken by love and that love or whatever it is; is draining them down to pursue their dreams. I choose to change the perspectives of how their minds think. I want women, actually to think of themselves more and what the future holds for them than what they're having in the present time because nothing lasts forever but their dreams would last forever! Everything would be memorable so is up to them. But what I wanna change is, I want women to believe in women power.

Q: Looking at the media and how some artists' portray of women on musical videos; are we going to see some changes when it comes to yours?

A: Yes, you gonna see a different kind of thing because; well, going back to your question. I don't like what's happening on our music videos. I mean, girls are taken so cheap and low and they like it and that's the biggest false. What they think about is looking nice for the camera and forget about their pride and who they really are just because they wanna be on a music video and so many things that come along side it which I cannot talk about right now because is going to be like I'm judging the industry which I'm not. It does concern me because I'm into the same industry!

So with me, there's gonna be a total different turn completely because I'm gonna be doing things that  people won't like but they should understand because this is a different kind of world; everybody has to be accepted. I, personally, want also promote; your bio-sexual life, your gay life, you know. I want those kind of things so that people would accept them and not only that but so many different things.

Q: Who and who do you wanna work with in South African music industry?

A: I wanna work with Bongi Dube, and Zahara.

Q: And guys?

A: Collen - The  General. He's still new but there's a song he just released Dlozi Lami. I'd like to revamp the song and for all the supports, encouragement and believe I do receive from him I will definitely work with him.

Q: Among South African male celebrities who is your crush?

A: I don't have any, I'm sorry!

Q: Where do you see yourself in five years' time?

A: I will be talk of the town, city and world!


Please do follow Cassy on these social media handles to show her love:

FB: Iamcassy_black.barbie
IG: @mccassy24
SoundCloud: Coming soon.